We had been given three different
due dates, 7/3, 7/8 and 7/11. I had an appointment with my
midwife, Chris, on 7/8 and told her I was concerned I could
go over 42 weeks and have to be induced. That night James
and I celebrated a belated 7 year anniversary at a nice restaurant
and called it a night.
Around 2 pm on 7/9/08 I was up for one of my
many nightly bathroom breaks. I felt something come out, when
I turned on the light; I figured it was the mucous plug. I
woke James to tell him but emphasized that the plug is not
a good determinate of when labor starts and went back to sleep.
Around 6 AM, I woke up again with some pain
that felt like cramps and very different from the tightening
feeling of a Braxton-Hicks contraction. I woke James up again
and told him this might be the real thing but I wasn’t
sure. I told him to get up and go to work for a few hours
so he could get some things wrapped up. I was on day two of
my maternity leave.
He made me a protein and banana smoothie before
heading out to work. I tried to go back to sleep. Around 8
AM the contractions were enough to keep me awake. I got up
and tried to sew a button on a shirt (didn’t work out
so well), have a phone conversation with a friend (she had
no idea), and put laundry away. I started to time the contractions.
However, I was moving around so much I would look at different
clocks and I wasn’t tracking accurately. They seemed
to be about 15 minutes apart then be 10 minutes apart lasting
about 30 seconds. I kept having the intense need to go to
the bathroom. I felt like my body was cleaning itself out.
I had a huge poster of the stages of labor from the Bradley
book and reviewed that. I drank lots of water and tried to
eat.
I sent this email to my husband at 9 AM:
“I’m not able to sleep as much
as I wanted to. My notes say various 6-7 am, 7:30, 8:12, 830,
8:41, 8:53, 9:00. Some last a minute, some are longer and
some are shorter. I found the pelvic tilt is really painful
when you need to go to the toilet. I’m trying to get
the hang of it- puttering around putting items away and cleaning
the counter top seems to be good for the pain, so I’m
in luck. Don’t worry- I’ll call you if anything
advances more. I still am not sure if this is it…”
At 10 AM I took a shower and noticed that my
back was starting to hurt, Ian was a posterior presentation
so I had read about the additional pain of back labor. Contractions
felt like bad menstrual cramps, a dull twisting ache. The
back pain was more dominant.
At 10:30 AM I sent this email to my husband:
“Ate apricots as instructed, took
shower for 10 minutes and it felt good. Put mu-mu dress on.
My work called and I didn't pick up. ANNOYING. My timing is
off since I write down whatever time for the clock of the
room I'm in. They vary from 10 to 5 minutes but aren't lasting
long.”
I was able to completely relax between contractions
and felt they weren’t too bad. I was on my hands and
knees a lot and watched something funny on TV.
At 12:30 PM the contractions and back pain were
getting more intense. I tried to eat again and needed to keep
going to the bathroom. I called James and told him to come
home, I was pretty sure it was the real thing. I was glad
I had been able to labor at home by myself for a few hours.
When he arrived at 1 PM, he took over timing the contractions.
I had enough relief between contractions to go online and
look up July 9th and 10th birthdays to see who was born on
those days.
James called the Breath of Life around 1:30
PM and I spoke to my midwife, Chris. She said the contractions
were still disorganized I should call back when they were
more organized, between 3-5 minutes apart or if my water broke.
We called again around 2:50 PM and said they were much more
intense and closer together and Chris said to come in at 4
PM.
I then started to realize that the 30 minute
drive to the birth center was imminent and was concerned how
I could handle the pain sitting in a car. I tried to convince
James to keep the back of my car open to I could be on all
fours. He didn’t feel comfortable with that and instead
promised to pull over if I needed to change positions.
I decided to prepare myself for the drive. I
stopped all positions that had comforted me so far. For the
next half hour I practiced going through contractions while
seated. It was much more painful. James loaded up the car
and then loaded me just shy of 3:30 PM. The trip was intense
but not as bad as I expected. I closed my eyes and listed
to music and tried to concentrate on each contraction starting
and ending.
We arrived at the center at 4 PM and Chris had
not yet arrived. They moved us to the family room and I kept
working through intense contractions. James applied pressure
with his fist to the small of my back and that relieved some
of the pain. I could not carry on a conversation and was very
serious. I felt that I was in Hard Labor and found the emotional
signposts [as taught in Bradley] to be very accurate. My bag
of waters still had not broken. I was able to stand and I
hung on James’ arms that were folded in front of him.
We brought some Gatorade, cliff bars, V8 and
Yoo-Hoo and James put them in the birth center’s fridge.
When the midwife arrived around 4:20 PM, she
examined me and was pleased I was 100% effaced and dilated
6 cm. The exam was very painful and she promised she would
only do it again if necessary. I asked if getting in the tub
would slow down labor but Chris thought I was dilated enough.
By 5 PM I was in the tub. The water was maintained
around 97-99 degrees. I thought that temperature would be
too hot but when I got in it felt good. I remember turning
to James and saying “The water helps…but not as
much as I had hoped”. The water relaxed me immediately
but didn’t take away the pain. James asked if I wanted
music. There had been much discussion about what would go
on my birthing mix- but I didn’t want to hear music.
Silence was comforting.
If the temperature dropped to 97 degrees, I
would immediately notice and have it increased. I continued
to have intense back pain. James applying pressure with his
fist didn’t help anymore. I labored on all fours and
then later in a modified squat with my head on the side of
the tub. James offered me food but all I wanted were drinks.
I heard Chris say to James that she had called a birth attendant
and if she didn’t get there soon she would be a post
birth attendant. I was pleased. I suddenly started to feel
very nauseous, and threw up. After I did, I felt much better
and thought that I was at Transition.
A little while later, I asked Chris if I was
now at 2nd stage and she said she thought I was late 1st stage.
I felt disappointed and wished I hadn’t asked.
The birth attendant arrived and I quietly greeted
her as I hung on to the side of the tub. I was very sweaty
and Chris kept brining me cold cloths. I still had no idea
if my water had already broken or not. I was feeling intense
pain and pressure in my pelvis and back. The feeling was constant,
not coming and going like the contractions. As painful as
it was-I was grateful to be able to actually feel his movement
and the resulting pressure. I felt like I needed to go to
the bathroom and Chris told me it was because the baby had
to pass by there as he moved down. James kept holding my hand
from the side of the tub. I did not feel the self doubt that
is associated with Transition but acknowledged the level of
pain and had lost track of time.
I no longer felt actual contractions so I was
unsure how to get started with pushing.
Chris listened to Ian’s heartbeat via a hand held Doppler
that she immersed in the water. She smiled and said he was
doing great. I asked her when I should push and she simply
said “When you are ready.” I wasn’t sure
if I was ready but tried to start pushing a little anyway.
I modified my squat and leaned back and hung on the handrails
in the tub.
Later, I caught a glance at Chris’ wristwatch;
it was about 7:30 PM. I thought that it would be nice to have
this baby by 8 PM. Then I remembered this was a Wednesday
and I would have been at my regular yoga class. I tried to
pretend that I was there in my class and felt comforted. I
thought of one of my dogs cuddling with me and tried to tune
everything out.
James said “Pour it on” which I
had asked him to say when he thought it was close to the end.
It was a reminder of nearing the finish line in a race. I
gathered up some strength to push and was surprised how hard
it was. I felt heaviness and discomfort in my pelvis and then
raw stretching pain. I realized I had prepared so well for
the contractions but hadn’t prepared as well for pushing-
I assumed that would be the easy part.
The birth attendant Johna kept saying “Don’t
be afraid” and “Push with your bottom” these
comments didn’t help me very much. Finally she said,
“Chin to chest and I understood the action right away.
As I pushed, Chris continued to listen to Ian’s
heartbeat and his heart rate was between 120s and 130s. This
allowed me to rest between pushes without worry. Eventually
I started to feel some doubt and asked everyone if I was pushing
hard enough or if I was taking too long. They reassured me
that I was doing fine. A few minutes later they saw Ian’s
head start to crown. They told me he had dark hair and I was
so excited. Johna said his hair was so long you could braid
it.
Chris asked if I wanted to touch his head. I
said “No offense to him, but no”. I didn’t
want to do anything but push him out. I kept pushing and feeling
the incredible stretch that seemed to overtake all other sensations.
I cried out a little for the first time during the pushing
and my breathing was more labored and shallow. Johna said
“Smell in the flower and blow out the candle”
so I tried to adjust my breathing.
Ian’s head was partly out and I knew I
only had a few more pushes to go. Chris was trying to help
with the stretching and had her gloved hands in the tub. I
heard everyone say “just a little more” and “two
steps out and one back in.” I pushed my chin to chest
again and again until I heard everyone say “a little
more” and pushed with all my might.
I didn’t realize which ‘push’
was the one but then a pink slippery baby, my baby, was placed
at my chest. I was stunned and relieved. His umbilical cord
was tight against me as I held him. Chris waited until it
stopped pulsating and let James cut it. I heard Chris say
to Johna, “born at 8 PM”.
They swaddled him to keep him warm and I held
him in the tub. The tub water was clear the whole time and
was just starting to turn a light brown from blood and fluid.
I gave the Ian to James so they could help me
out of the tub and into the shower. I was offered a stool
but could not sit down. I felt like my lower half was sore
but it wasn’t painful, just inflamed. They gave me a
pad to kneel on and showered me.
Chris and Johna helped me to the bed and as
I lay down and it was the most wonderful feeling. Chris mentioned
I needed to deliver the placenta but I wasn’t listening.
A few moments later she reminded me again of the placenta
so I gave a few awkward pushes. She reminded me this should
be easy since the placenta had no bones. I was just tired
and thought we were done!
Eventually Chris said, “Megan if you don’t
get this placenta out in five minutes we will need to go to
the hospital.” I pushed it out as quickly as I could.
I felt relief. I didn’t want to end up at a hospital
after all this!
Chris mentioned after we got breastfeeding
established she wanted to stitch me up. I was surprised as
I had no idea I had even torn. She assured me that it was
just a little. I sat back on the comfy bed with my son and
my husband and felt like the luckiest person in the world.
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